Games

I opened the door to my bedroom and walked in the living room to find Sidney waiting doing something o his phone. He looked up at me with a concerned face. “So?”

I sighed putting the phone down and sitting next to him leaning my head back staring at the ceiling. “He answered. I was about to hang up but I guess he knew it was me. I told him I heard his message and he asked what I thought. I asked him if it was true and he said he meant every word. He told me he missed me and wanted to see me. We spoke for a while and he asked how I was and if I was well. Eventually I told him if he really wanted to come visit and he said yes. I said fine.”

Sidney looked shocked. “Really?”

I nodded. “He said he could come next week. I told him sure and he said he’d call in a few days so we can figure everything out.”

He looked down at the floor thinking for a moment. “And this is what you want?”

“I know I haven’t seen him in years, but he seemed somewhat sincere and-” I paused. “I don’t know when this chance will come again. I not too thrilled, but I do want to see him. I don’t want to keep wondering everyday of my life how he is or if we could’ve been close.”

He gave me a tiny smile. “I get it. I don’t know what I’d do if I wasn’t close to my parents. If you need any help with anything, just let me know alright?”

“Actually,” I said. “I would like to keep us a secret from my father. For a while at least.”

He gave me a strange look. “Why?”

“It’s not that embarrassed,” I assured. “I just don’t want him to come and automatically tell him I have a boyfriend. I’ll tell him after a while. Is that ok with you?”

“Of course. Take your time to get to know your dad first. Tell him when you’re ready.”

I smiled at how understanding he was and leaned in to hug him. “Thank you.”

“No problem. I’m here whenever you need me Brooke.”
----------------------
I walked to open the door to see Peyton standing with Chinese food and DVD’s and a bag with ice cream in it. “Hey.”

“Hey,” I greeted letting her in. “Is it raining?” I asked noticing her jacket slightly wet.

“It just started drizzling. Looks like I came just in time,” she said looking out the window, as the rain grew louder.

I put the ice cream in the freezer and took out the cartons of food. I place them on the table along with napkins and forks and spoons next to the chopsticks. I poured some iced tea into cups and placed them on the table.

She took out the DVD’s and put them on top of the tv. She opened one box and placed the cd inside. “Thank goodness the boys had a late practice and media stuff to do all day. We haven’t had our movie nights in a while.”

“I know.” She took off her shoes and sat down on the couch next to me. I turned on the television and waited for the movie to start. All the trailers were coming on now.

“So I heard you spoke to him,” she mumbled drinking her iced tea.

“Yeah, I was going to tell you.”

“How’d it go?”

“Fine.”

“Ok.” She grabbed her chopsticks and opened one of the boxes to start eating it.

The thing about Peyton you have to understand is that she understands me. She’s probably the only person who really knows me. We have a very different relationship. Although personality wise we’re different, we’re very much alike. She knows that I’m shy and quiet but not around her. Around each other we’re sort of cynical. We don’t talk much about our personal, personal lives or problems. When we do we don’t exactly talk about them. We just say it and move on. We’re actually not very big on talking.

That’s what I liked about our friendship. We understood that we didn’t want to talk about it. We may ask a few questions but eventually say ‘ok’ and move on. To each other, we weren’t exactly bright and shiny people. But that was ok by us.

After two movies and tons of Chinese food, we were currently on the floor shoving spoonfuls of ice cream in our faces. We had decided on some re-run of Grey’s Anatomy since there was nothing on. It was the episode where Meredith found out Derek was married.

“You know,” Peyton said. “I never understood why Meredith was all mean to his face, yet she was still pining for him.”

“That’s love,” I pointed out. “No matter what the other person does to you and no matter what happens, you can get really mad at them, but in the end you still love them,” I finished slowly realizing where this started to apply to me.

Peyton glanced at me. “Are you ok?”

I nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“I wish I was a doctor,” she blurted out. “I think I’d be good at it.”

I scoffed. “Please, you get all nauseous and queasy at the sight of blood. Remember that one time you were trying to fix the broken mirror and cut your finger? You had a panic attack.”

“That was different. I thought I was going to be genetically altered and turn into some freak with abnormal powers,” she muttered.

I laughed. “Yeah, ok.”

“Still, I think I could be a good doctor. I wouldn’t become emotionally involved. I think I’d be a Cristina. I’d be kick-ass,” she stated. I could only shake my head and laugh.
-------------------

Rain.

It was one of the few things that made me calm. It soothed me. I turned over in my bed to stare out the window and watch the drops fall and hit the window sounding louder and louder. Every few minutes there would be a flash of light later accompanied by an echoing thunder.

I hadn’t slept all night. I couldn’t help but wonder what my father was doing at this moment. Growing up, I had always been close to my parents, but I’d been closer to my father. He would always take me with him everywhere he went. When my mother would work on weekends, he would take the day off and take me to the park, or museum, or somewhere and we’d have fun. I remember thinking he had the funniest sense of humor I’d ever known, even though it was cheesy. I was the only one who ever laughed at his jokes and made the same jokes as him as a child. My mother would laugh at how only we found each other’s jokes funny.

I had always trusted my father. I knew I could tell him anything. He was never one to talk seriously about serious things to me. Besides his humor and happiness, he’d never really show any emotions. I knew he loved me, but I can only recall him telling me twice when I was about four or five. Other than that, he never had an actual serious conversation with me. He had grown up with the mind set that you had to be tough and never show emotions, only to make it seem less aggressive, he constantly joked. If he were serious and quiet all the time, it’d be different, but his always being funny made it better. The only down part: he never quite knew how to comfort me or talk to me sincerely.

I forced myself to get out of bed and went to shower. I came out, changed, made some coffee and grabbed my umbrella before heading out. Once I got to the arena, I assumed practice was almost over. I headed towards the locker room to see Peyton talking to a girl I’d never seen before.

“Brooke, hey. This is Vero,” she motioned to a tall girl next to her. “Well her actual name is better but I can’t say. I’d make it sound bad, so her name is Vero,” she said.

“Hi,” she greeted in a slight French accent. She was tall, to me anyways, almost olive skinned, with dark hair that seemed to compliment her warm eyes.

“Hi, nice to meet you,” I greeted back.

“Vero is Marc’s girlfriend,” Peyton informed me.

“Oh, really? That’s nice. Marc is such a nice guy.”

“He’s all right I guess,” she joked.

Peyton and I laughed as some of the boys began coming out of the locker room. “Oh, Brooke, Max wanted me to tell you that we’re coming to the game tomorrow. Are you coming Vero?”

“I’m not sure, I might be busy, but I’ll try to make it,” she assured.

“Hey guys, I see you’ve met my girlfriend,” Marc said coming out of the locker room.

“Yes we have,” Peyton answered.

“Are you ready to go?” Marc asked.

Vero nodded looking back at us. “Bye girls. It was nice to meet you. Hopefully I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

After they left Sidney and Max came out discussing something and ending their conversation when they saw us. “Hey Brooke how are you?” Max greeted.

“I’m good Max. Where did they go?” I asked crossing my arms.

“To do something dirty,” he grinned walking over to put his arm around Peyton. “Ready to be shown off?”

I frowned. “What?”

“I’m ready,” Peyton smiled.

“Can someone tell me what’s going on please?”

“Peyton didn’t tell you?” Sidney asked.

“I was going to, but I thought this’d be more fun,” she grinned.

Sidney shook his head. “Optional skate today. Max and I usually just hang around with some of the other guys. We don’t really do much. Some days we might work out, but not today.”

I nodded. “So what does this have to do with me?”

Sidney laughed. “Well Max and I thought it’d be a good idea for you to meet some of the other guys.”

“Yeah, so let’s go,” Max said walking away towards the gym. Sidney and I followed behind them.

We walked in with only Aaron Asham and Eric Goddard chatting and stretching out. “Hey boys,” Sidney greeted.

They both nodded at him walking towards us. “Guys meet Peyton and Brooke,” gesturing to us. “Peyton’s mine, so that would mean Brooke is Sidney’s.”

Peyton waved. “Nice to meet you.”

I smiled back. “Hi.”

“You’ll have to excuse Brooke,” Max said. “She’s not really the talkative type.”

I rolled me eyes at him. “That’s not true. I just don’t like talking to you,” I corrected. Max pouted walking away.

Aaron and Eric both laughed. “I like you, you’re funny. And anyone who can make Max cry is a friend of mine.”

Aaron agreed. “Definitely.”

“I am not crying,” Max yelled. “I just have dust in my eye.”

“Well guys see you later,” Sidney said as we left the room.

Peyton had stayed back to go get Max while Sid and I walked into the kitchen area where the vending machines and refrigerator was. Tyler, Mark Letestu, Chris Conner, and Craig Adams. “Hey guys you remember Brooke right?”

They all nodded smiling at both of us. “Yes, hey Brooke how’s it going?” Tyler asked.

“Good, thanks. How about you?”

He shrugged. “Oh you know hockey and all.”

I laughed. “I assume.”

Mark grinned at me. “Hey Brooke, how’s that whole Evgeni thing going?”

I forced out an awkward laugh. “Funny, really.”

“Brooke, you know my kids haven’t stopped talking about you. They’re wondering when they’re going to see you next.”

“Really? That’s sweet. I love them they’re so adorable. I’d love to see them again,” I told him.

He smiled back at me as Sidney waved at the guys leading me to the area where all players got their injuries checked out. Most of the players were there sitting down and chatting about anything, no one really getting anything done or getting anything checked out. “Hey.” The guys all greeted Sidney, going back to their own conversations.

Pascal and Kris were chatting, or more Pascal making fun of everything he said, while Jordan, Geno, and Marc were each taking turns and making jokes. Pascal came over to us trying to hold his laughter in about something.

“Hey guys,” Pascal greeted. “Brooke, can I ask you a question?”

“Sure, what’s up?”

He leaned in and whispered, “Don’t you think everything Kris says is funny?”

“Pascal stop it,” Kris told him.

“Pascal stop it,” he mimicked.

“Come on you’ve already been on me for like fifteen times today. Can you stop?”

“Can you stop?”

He adjusted his cap and rubbed his forehead, stressed. “I mean it.”

“I mean it,” Pascal said increasing Kris’s accent.

He sighed shaking his head and walking over to us. “Hi Brooke, how are you?”

I bit my lip trying to hold back my laughter. “Hi Kris. I’m good and you?”

He nodded shoving his hands in his pockets. “Ok. I haven’t seen you in a while,” he said giving me a tiny smile.

I smiled at him. “It has been a while.”

Pascal looked between us. “Why are you two being so weird?”

We glanced at him and back at each other before clearing our throats and looking away. “So Pascal how are you?” Kris asked.

He gave him a strange look before he repeated what he said. “So Pascal how are you?” He gave him a look before shaking his head once more and walking away. Pascal went after him yelling, “No come back here Frenchie!” He somehow managed to have a paper ball in his pocket as he threw it at his head following him.

“Is everything ok?” Sidney asked.

I nodded. “Yea, I just haven’t seen him in a while so I didn’t know how to act. I was trying not to make it uncomfortable, but completely failed.”

He laughed. “It’s ok.”

“Brooke hi,” Marc waved me over to where he was sitting.

“Hey Marc, weren’t you with your girlfriend like five minutes ago?”

“Yeah, we were going to go to lunch but she had to do something,” he answered.

“Oh, that’s too bad.”

He shrugged as Jordan smiled at me. “Hey Brooke, how are you?”

“I’m good thank you. How about you?”

He shrugged fixing his cap. “Alright. Hey do you want to play with me? I got kind of bored with these guys,” he said.

I laughed. “Sure why not. What do you want to play?”

He pulled out a PSP out of his pocket and grabbed another and handed it to me. “We play this a lot on the road.”

I smiled going over to sit next to him. I hopped on the black hard cushion where players got checked out and sat crossed legged facing him. He set something up on both of ours and we started playing. I had no idea what we were playing, I was only focused on trying to kill him. We were both silent for a few minutes until I spotted Jordan’s player and shot him dead in the head.

“What? Are you kidding me? This can not be happening,” he said. “I’m going to get you this-” he stopped and let out a frustrated breath.

“You got him again?” Sidney asked looking over my shoulder.

I smiled sheepishly. “It’s not that hard, he’s right in front of me.”

Once more, he was trying to look for me when I came up behind him and shot him again. “Come on,” Jordan whined. “Are you kidding me?”

Sidney gave my shoulders a squeeze and laughed at how angry and more concentrated Jordan was getting. “Oh, he’s right there,” Sidney pointed out.

“What? No you’re not going to-” he looked up at me like he wanted to kill me. “I hate you.”

I grinned at him as Sidney, Marc, and Geno laughed. “I’m sorry. I’m not doing it on purpose, you just make it so easy.”

“I am going to beat. You are not going anywhere until I do,” Jordan said sternly.

And he meant it. We played and played several times. Eventually everyone around us was getting bored and practice ended so Max invited everyone over to my place.
-----------------------

“Hey guys, guys look what I can do!” Max yelled. Everyone turned around to see him trying to balance a plate and cup on top of his hand.

“Max I swear you better not drop it or-” I spoke too soon. The plate and cup had smashed in pieces all over the kitchen floor.

Max laughed awkwardly, “It was an accident?”

I sighed as Peyton got up. “I’ll clean it up. I know how she wants it done and you’ll just mess it up.”

Max pouted walking over to where Jordan, Sidney, Marc, and me were now playing. Max felt left out and picked up his PSP to play with the rest of us. Marc left the game and went to find something to watch on the television with Peyton.

I was incredibly engrossed in the game, trying to kill Jordan whenever I could. Anytime Peyton would try to talk to me, I just nodded and mumbled incoherent words. I had never been a fan of video games, but the fact that I was actually good at them and beating Jordan was drawing me more to them. Or at least this one.

“Oh come on Brooke he’s right there, you can catch him,” Sid told me.

“I’m trying,” I muttered moving as fast as I could. I finally saw him a good fifty feet away and went behind a rock. I crouched down and looked through my sniper and shot, managing to shoot his head.

“Yes! I’m sorry Jordan but you just make it too easy for me,” I laughed as Sidney and Max looked at me impressively.

Jordan muttered something under his breath and faked a smile before going back to his game. Sidney smiled. “Wow Brooke, you really are good at this game. Or Jordan’s just that bad, which he usually isn’t.”

I smiled. “I try.”

Peyton and marc walked over to us. “I can’t believe you're actually playing this game with these boys Brooke.”

I shrugged. “It’s pretty entertaining.”

“Men,” Max interrupted.

Peyton gave him a look. “What?”

“We’re not boys, we’re men. I’m a man,” he said puffing his chest out.

“Aw, you're so funny,” Peyton cooed pinching his cheek.

I shook my head paying more attention to who was in front of me in the game. I saw someone and grinned as I realized who it was. I set up for the kill and shot the first chance I got.

Max gasped. “Did you just kill me?”

Marc leaned over my shoulder to see my screen. “Oh, suck it Talbo.” We all laughed as Max tried to look for me but failed and started being careful I wouldn’t get him again.

“Hey Max you know you can get in those bushes right?” Sidney said focused on his game.

“Ha you're dead. Sid’s definitely the worst player,” Max told us.

“I can’t believe you're saying you're the best player,” he replied.

“I didn’t say that,” he corrected. “I said but you're the worst.” He moved sideways trying to run back to Sidney and grinned. “Oh wait, oh wait. I just killed you.”

Jordan and I laughed. “Oh I just killed you Max. I thought you were the best. What happened?”

“You happened!”

Jordan rolled his eyes. “Good one.”

Max scoffed. “Whatever I’m better than all of you here,” he grinned.

“Max is a douche,” Marc said. The rest of us laughed watching Max abandon his game and going over to Peyton.

I yawned getting up from the floor to stretch. “I’m going to get something to drink. Do you guys want iced tea?” they all smiled and nodded as I headed to the kitchen.

“I’ll help,” Sidney offered already getting up. I eyed him as he came over to me. “I know you're going to say its fine, but I’m going to end up helping you anyways, so let’s just skip the argument this time,” he smiled.

I sighed turning back around to the kitchen. “Let’s go.”

I opened the fridge and took out the pitcher of iced tea while Sidney took out a few glasses. “So how are you?”

I stopped mid pour. “What do you mean?”

“I mean you haven’t talked about the whole father situation in a couple of days,” he pointed out. “Are you having second thoughts?”

I cleared my throat. “No I just-”

“You’re just not really sure if you want it or afraid you made the wrong choice?” he chuckled noticing he had finished my thought.

I nodded. “I guess.”

“You're just not sure if you made the right choice and how to make sure you want this and wont back out,” he continued. “Brooke I know it may seem like a bad choice now, but once he gets here it’ll be different, you’ll see.”

I had to smile at his optimism and decided not to argue. “You're right.” I placed the glasses on a tray to take that Sidney took from my hands and put it back down on the counter.

He placed his hands on my shoulders and looked me dead in the eye. “I know you don’t believe me now and you're just saying that to not argue. But you’ll see everything will be ok, no matter what happens. I’m going to be here for you throughout everything. I promise it’ll be fine.”

I nodded, wanting to believe him. I would have, if he hadn’t added the last part. I didn’t want him to promise anything he wasn’t sure of.

“Brooke you told me I deserved to be happy. You can be happy too. You just have to let yourself be,” he told me.

It was then that I noticed he knew how I thought and what I was thinking. He knew about the doubts that I had. He knew how I was thinking about this choice twice. I was grateful for how much he cared. He really was trying to understand me and help me, which was a first from anyone.

All I could is smile and meet him halfway. “Ok. I promise I’ll try.”

Work and A Lunch

I stared at the phone on the table not taking my eyes off it. I didn’t even blink. I kept my hands together on my lap that was shaking up and down. My mind was picking up the phone and dialing numbers and forming words. My hands were doing nothing. I tried picking up and dialing through my mind long enough that all I was accomplishing is getting a headache. I sighed and got up to go to work.

I grabbed my keys and closed the door and walked down the hallway. The whole way to work, I was trying to ignore the thoughts that ran through my head. I didn’t know what I wanted to do. That’s what was eating away inside me.
--------------------------
“Hey,” Peyton greeted.

“Hey,” I said back taking my seat at my desk across from her.

“How are you doing?”

I shrugged taking a drink from my coffee. “Alright I guess.”

She nodded. “Max told me Sidney went over there.”

I nodded back. “He did. I spoke to him. About everything,” I told her.

She leaned back in surprise, staring at me. “Are….are you serious?”

“Yeah. You were always telling me I needed to trust someone and open up. And I felt like I could do that with him. I felt comfortable around him. I thought he deserved to know. I know it seems fast but-”

“No, it’s ok. I know you and you never do anything rash. You have to think. About everything,” she pointed out. “If you say you trust him, I trust you.”

I smiled. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” She stared at her computer screen intently scrolling through a page with her mouse.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Nothing.”

I raised my eyebrow. “Uh huh, sure.”

She sighed. “I’m looking at the girlfriend forums.”

I made a face. “Why?”

“To see if any girls out there are talking about me,” she pointed out. “For all I know they can be saying mean things about me.”

“And if they are, what are you going to do about it?”

“I don’t know, but I’d at least like to know who is talking about me,” she argued. “They better not be saying anything bad about me. Wait, how dare they!”

I looked back up at her. “What?”

“They did write something about me. Look.”

I got up from my chair and walked over to her desk. I leaned down the read what she had her mouse over. “Wow,” I said. “Someone sure has opinions about you.”

“I can’t believe they wrote this! It says if I weren’t so focused on my looks and hair, I’d probably be a better person. The appearance of my hair is enough to know how much hairspray I use. My dressing to way to provocative for the rink and I couldn’t seem less interested in being there. And they called me mean, fat, and conceited. And they think I’m too tall for him, seriously?”

I tried to hold back the laughter. “It’s ok, whoever wrote this probably has no life.”

“Still, how could they think I’m too tall for him?”

“Really? Out of all the things they said, this is what you’re focusing on?”

“Yeah, I mean come on. How tall do they want me to be, your height?”

“Ok, I’m going back to my chair now,” I said sitting down and pushing my chair in.

“I mean if you want to call me tall, that’s fine I get it. But saying I’m too tall for him? That’s a little much. He’s tall enough as it is,” she said. “Like I could be taller than him, please.”

I shook my head smiling at her. I went through my emails and eventually started to organize my already clean desk since there was nothing to do. I was going through some paper work when I decided to get coffee. I pushed my chair back and walked to the lounge. The whole office was quiet with a few people walking around and some quiet personal phone calls going on. I finally reached the lounge, grabbed a cup and poured some coffee.

I walked back outside to suddenly find people pacing and running around with papers in their hand. Phones were going off and the office seemed more alive. I eyed everyone slowly walking back to my desk.

“Brooke!” Carl called from behind.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“I love you!” he shouted picking me up and spun me around.

“Uh, thanks?”

“That piece you gave me for my article was genius! Boss loved it and so did everyone else.”

“Really?”

He nodded. “They’ve been waiting to see that article because they were actually really interested since you know hockey is such a big deal around here. And when they read it, they told me how much they liked it,” he explained.

“That’s really great,” I told him.

He smiled putting me down. “You know, I wasn’t going to take all the credit for myself. I told them that you basically told me what to write. They all thought you were amazing. And I mean they know how much you know about hockey and that my opinions aren’t that strong,” he joked.

“Well thank you. You didn’t have to do that. You could’ve taken credit,” I said.

He shook his head. “No, people deserve to know how great you are. I got to go but I’ll talk to you later,” he said walking off. “I love you Brooke Parker!”

I laughed to myself making my way back to my desk. I was greeted with more people complimenting on the article, which I’ll admit, put me in a better mood.

“Hey Brooke, great opinion on that article. I loved it!” another co-worker said walking past me.

“Well I do my best,” I answered looking back.

Yet another person, Lisa, walked past me shouting. “Brooke! Amazing opinions. It sounded great and we all know Carl isn’t the best with words.”

I laughed. “When has he ever been?”

Adam came up to me next. “Brooke, when will you stop being so great? I swear I read that article and felt like I was talking to you,” he said.

Just as he finished someone I had never seen came up to me. “Are you Brooke?”

“I am. How may I help you?”

“I’m new. I’m an intern and I’ve heard people talking about how you helped someone write the opinion piece on hockey, is that true?”

Adam put his arm around me. “Sure is. Why?” he asked eyeing him.

"I read it and I thought you really gave the writer the direction of what to write. It was real good.”

“Thank you so much.”

“That’s just Brooke. She’s that good,” Adam piped in grinning at me.

I rolled my eyes. “Thank you for saying so.”

“You’re welcome. I have to make these copies. I should get going,” he said holding up papers.

“So soon?”

“What?”

Adam and I both laughed. “She’s just screwing with your mind kid.”

“It was very nice to meet you. I hope to see you around.” He smiled and walked away as Adam and I laughed again.

“I’ll see you around and again, that article was really good. I don’t think Carl could’ve done it without you. Your hockey knowledge still amazes me. Plus, you’re really pretty,” he smiled.

“Thanks,” I told him as he walked away.

Rachel, a photographer came up to me grinning. “Hey, girly. Finally you put your two cents in Carl’s piece. About time it seemed he knew what he was talking about even if he doesn’t,” she joked.

I took a sip of my coffee. “Well, he’s Carl, what are you going to do with him?”

She laughed calling back to me. “Guess you’re right. See you later,” she said.

All of these comments had only taken up a few minutes. I was approaching my desk when I noticed Max and Sidney standing and smiling at me. “What are you doing here?”

“We came by to see if you guys wanted to go to lunch,” Max said. “Separately though.”

Sidney smiled at me. “Hey people sure seem to like you. Even that intern guy.”

I waved my hand. “Oh, no they don’t. They were just talking to me about something.”

He gave me a tiny smile waving off my comment. “So, do you want to go to lunch?”

“You guys finished practice already?” I asked sitting down in my chair.

He nodded. “Yeah, we had an earlier practice. I thought I might come and see if you’re hungry.”

I smiled. “That’s very sweet of you. I don’t really have much work today so I can go now,” I told him already grabbing my purse.

“Well Max and Peyton already left,” he said frowning looking at them walking away. “So guess it’s just us.”

“Guess it is.”

“You know,” he began as he walked. “People were staring at Max and I when we came up here.”

“Understandable. I mean it’s not everyday we get hockey superstars in here,” I smirked.

He opened the door for me leading to the parking lot as we made our way to his car. “Still, they seemed really nice. I tried to be nice back.”

“Aren’t you quite the charmer,” I joked.

He laughed opening the door for me leaning down quickly to kiss me on the cheek and went over to his side. Once he got in he was starting the car when I placed my hand on his arm and leaned over to do the same. “Hey,” I smiled. He smiled back backing the car out of the parking lot.
------------------------

“You know,” Sidney said taking a bite out of his pasta. “People really seem to like you at your work. And I didn’t realize how charming and funny you were.”

I gave him a confused look. “What?”

“I was watching you when everyone was coming up and talking to you and everything you said was funny. Especially to that one intern guy. You really are something else.”

“I’m going to choose to take that as a compliment,” I said taking a drink from my water.

He went back to his food staying silent for a few minutes. He had been thinking about something but I had no idea what it was. I decided to ignore it until he finally spoke. “Uhm Brooke?”

“Yes?”

“I know this is probably none of my business,” he said. “But I was wondering if you had decided what you were going to do about your father?”

I stopped chewing and slowly looked up at him. I had thought about it, way too much. I just didn’t know what I wanted to do. I cleared my throat. “I haven’t decided, no. I, I don’t know what I want to do.”

He nodded. “Oh, well I’m here for you. If there’s anything you need, just let me know.”

I smiled. “Thank you.”

He chewed on his pasta and opened his mouth to say something. “Brooke? Would you mind if I said something about this?”

I put my fork down and folded my hands on the table. “Sure.”

He sighed. “I think you should call your father. I think you should see him.”

“Why?”

“You haven’t seen him in years. I don’t know him but he seems to really be making an effort to try and fix your relationship.”

“You’re right. You don’t know him,” I pointed out. “He always tries to make the effort and ends up backing out or messing something up and just forgets about me.”

He frowned looking down at his plate. “I think you should still hear him out. If you don’t, you’ll be wondering what could’ve happened.”

I chewed on my lip, contemplating what I would say next. “I want to. I just don’t know what I would say.” I glanced at him. “If I called him, would you be there with me?”

“Of course I would. Don’t worry Brooke, I’ll be there with you. It’ll be all right. I promise,” he said reaching over to grab my hand.

I took in a deep breath. “Ok. I think I will call him. At least to hear him out,” I decided.

“Good,” he smiled.

I was thankful for Sidney and how sweet and understanding he was. I was thankful that I could talk to him about this. I was also thankful for having him in my life. That and the piece of chocolate cake now in front of me.

Family Matters

I rolled around in my bed pulling the covers up to my chin from the chills I felt. I adjusted my pillow and drifted back to sleep. About five minutes later, I was woken up in a very loud and annoying manner.

“Brooke!” Peyton came in slamming the door open.

I shrieked falling off the bed and onto the floor. My face landed face first into the floor. I let out a very annoyed breath.

“You know, you really should practice the way you wake up. It’s not very graceful,” she told me.

I sat up leaning my back against the bed and stretching my legs out glaring at her. “Thanks I’ll get right on that.”

She smiled. “You’re welcome.”

I shook my head, yawning and rubbing my eye. “What time is it?”

“About 8:30,” she replied.

“What on earth are you doing here so early? We were talking on the phone really late, I barely got any sleep,” I told her.

She nodded. “I know, but I came to give you something.”

“What?”

She walked into my room and kneeled down beside me. She smiled slightly and gave me a hug. “This.” I smiled patting her on the back, knowing what she was doing this for. “I’m happy for you,” she said.

“Thank you. I’m kind of happy for me too,” I said.

“Finally! Thinking of yourself for a change. See how well the works out?”

I laughed. “Yeah, well is that really the only reason you came by here?”

“No. I heard that Sidney invited you to come to practice and since it’s a private practice, we’ll be the only ones there,” she grinned. “So I came to pick you up.”

“Doesn’t practice start at 10 or something?”

“Yes, but I wanted to make sure you got up and made yourself all pretty for him.”

I shook my head. “Peyton, I don’t think I’m going.”

“Why? Are you freaking out? It’s ok to freak you know.”

“No, because I want my sleep,” I whined.

She sighed pulling me up and turning me around to go to the bathroom. “Let’s go. Come on. I bought breakfast. And you’re going to go shower while I pick out what you’re going to wear,” she insisted.

By the time I had come out I went into my room to find every article of clothing I owned all over my bed. “Peyton, what did you do?”

“This is cute. When did you buy this? I didn’t know you could buy something like this, you always dress so nice,” she said looking at a flowy top that was a pale yellow and was very questionable.

“You gave it to me for Christmas,” I told her drying my hair and brushing it.

“Then I have excellent taste,” she decided. “Ok, since you’re you, I don’t want to dress you in something I like because I know you wont like it.”

I laughed. “Thank you.”

“Ok, how about these dark jeans with this navy top and some flats?”

I looked over the dark jeans and the somewhat fitted navy shirt and was satisfied. She handed them to me as I went to change in the bathroom. I had also put on some eyeliner and fixed a few strands of hair sticking out. I came back into the room seeing Peyton try to put the stuff back.

“See, you look beautiful. What are you going to do about your makeup?”

“I already did it,” I pointed out.

“Oh,” she said. “Well what about your hair?”

“I did that too,” I said giving her a look.

“In that case, you look perfect Brooke, really. You look just like you,” she smiled.

I raised my eyebrow at her. “Uh huh.”

“So, I know you’ve told me all the details, since I forced you to,” she said following me into the kitchen. “But I want us to have one of our rare girl talks.”

I turned around on the tips of my toes placing my hands on the counter. “About?” I asked taking a drink from the coffee.

“About you. You’ve told me what happened but not how you feel. And I know you, I know you’re probably freaking out that he doesn’t like you enough or at all or that this’ll end quickly and badly. I know you’re too nice to just forget about everyone else for a second and talk about your feelings. So I’m telling you to talk. Please,” she said.

I sighed. “You know, I hate that you know me right?”

She grinned. “I know. So come on talk.”

I took a seat by the counter and stared at my coffee. “I don’t know what’s wrong. I mean I should be happy and I am it’s just-”

“It’s just you’re not sure how you’re going to make this work and how you’ll deal or if he’s really that into you,” she interrupted.

I shrugged my right shoulder nodding at her.

She came closer looked me in the eye. “Alright, you will make this work. I know you. And I know you can. I had a momentary freak out too but if I can deal with it and make it work, you can definitely do it. And second, he is into you. He really likes you. Everyone can see. He wouldn’t have let you kiss him if he didn’t,” she smirked.

I smiled. “Maybe you’re right,” I mumbled.

She took out her muffin from the bag and took a bite. “I know I am.”

I shook my head sticking a piece of the banana muffin in my mouth.

“Brooke can I ask you a question?” she said seriously. I nodded. “Besides the way you are and the advice and listening to him, does Sidney really know anything about you? About your likes, dislikes, your childhood, everything?”

I chewed on the piece of muffin trying to come up with an answer. “He knows some of the things I like or don’t like. We’ve never really talked out our childhood or anything in the past.”

“That’s because anyone can read about his life on the internet. Have you opened up to him about anything?” I pursed my lips trying to avoid eye contact. “Brooke, I don’t want you to freak out about this, I was just wondering. I know you do things at your own pace, it’s ok. Open up when you’re ready and had your relationship for a while.”

I nodded trying my best to believe her and swallow the lump of guilt working its way up.

“Uhm, I got here early and I was watching tv before I woke you up, and the phone rang,” she began.

“Who was it?”

“I didn’t answer I let the machine pick it up.”

“Oh.” I got up from my seat and walked over to the answering machine pushing play.

“Hey Brooke,” a deep voice came on. The second I recognized the voice, my whole body stiffened up. “It’s your father-”

I immediately pressed down on the stop button. I stood there, frozen staring down at the machine. “Brooke? Brooke? Are you ok?” Peyton said coming up behind me.

I closed my eyes and cleared my throat quietly before turning around to face her. “Yes, I’m
fine. We should go before practice starts soon,” I told her.

She stood there for a second before nodding and handing me my jacket and walking towards the door. I walked out, trying to ignore the guilt I was feeling once again.
--------------------------

“Brooke, Peyton!” Marc shouted coming out of the locker room. “How are you guys?”

We both nodded. “Good,” Peyton answered. “How about you?”

He shrugged. “Same. Did you see my tricks during the shootout?”

“Yeah, I didn’t know you could curse that much,” I admitted.

“Yeah, well Max thought he could out smart me but didn’t. Max is a douche,” he decided.

Peyton and I both laughed out loud. “Oh Marc, you’re too funny.”

“I try, I try,” he joked.

Max and Sidney emerged from the locker room, with their hair still wet from showering, and chatting about something. “Hey girls,” greeted Max walking over to put an arm around Peyton.

“Hey Peyton.”

She smiled. “Hey Max.”

“Ready to go?”

“Yeah, let’s go.” She turned back at me and gave me a tiny smile and rubbing my arm before walking away with Max.

“Hey,” Sidney greeted smiling down at me.

I smiled at him. “Hi.”

“Alright I’m going to go before you start making out in front of me,” Marc said leaving.

I gave Sidney a look. “I’m guessing Marc knows too?”

He smirked. “Well sort of.”

I laughed. “Ok, then.”

“Do you want to go to lunch? I’m kind of hungry after that practice.”

I nodded. “Sure.”

“What are you in the mood for? I honestly don’t know.”

I smirked at him. “Do you want to go somewhere new? You’ve seen it before, but I promise you it’s good. And they make anything you want.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Really? Let’s go.” He started walking ahead of me.
---------------------
“You know you could’ve told me that you were talking about your place,” he said.

“Yeah, but where’s the fun in that?” I pointed out.

“I guess you’re right,” he decided.

I placed a hot plate in front of him. “Lunch is served. You know out of all the things I can make, you chose chicken parmesan, really?”

He shrugged. “This is what I wanted.”

I shook my head sitting down taking a bite out of the chicken. He forked down his food and drank his water almost immediately. He really was hungry, while I on the other hand had barely touched my food.

“What’s wrong?” he asked growing serious.

“Nothing,” I said forcing a smile on my face.

“Brooke I know you enough now that I know you don’t like to bother people with your problems, but I’m not people. I’m,” he paused. “Your boyfriend,” he mumbled.

I looked up at him with a smirk. “What?”

“Well we hadn’t really made it official but I figured when you kissed me and I kissed you, that’s when this whole thing kind of started,” he explained, blushing.

I smiled. “Oh.”

“I mean I just assumed,” he quickly added. “But if you don’t-”

“I would like to be your girlfriend,” I assured him smiling.

“Oh, ok,” he said smiling a bit. “So what’s wrong? I figured something was wrong before when Peyton gave you a look like she was worried about you. Did something happen between the two of you? Did you have a fight?”

“No,” I responded staring down at my plate.

“Brooke, tell me,” he said seriously.

I sighed moving around the food with my fork. “It’s just my father called, which he never calls and I haven’t listened to the message. I don’t know if something’s wrong,” I muttered.

He placed his hand on mine. “Do you want me to listen to it with you?”

I pursed my lips, thinking before looking back up at him. “No it’s alright, I can figure it out by myself.”

“Brooke, you can trust me. You know how you told me I can’t hold everything in?” he waited for me to nod. “Well neither can you, I’m here for you.”

“Well, if you’re sure it’s not too much trouble,” I mumbled.

He smiled at me. “Never. It is never trouble with you. Come on, we can go listen to it if you want.”

I smiled thankfully getting up to grab the two plates and placing them on the counter and waiting for him to get up. He pushed his chair back and walked into the living room sitting on the couch, leaving space for me. I walked slowly, taking my seat next to him. “You don’t have to do this you know,” I told him.

“It’s ok. I want to. Brooke, it’ll be fine. I’m here for you,” he reassured. He took my hand in his and gave it a slight squeeze.

I took in a deep breath and reached out to press the button. “Hey Brooke,’ his voice rang through the room. “It’s your father. I just-” he paused. “Just wanted to see how you were doing. We haven’t spoken in a long while and I was just wondering how you were. I don’t know if you remember, but my birthday is coming up. I was thinking, maybe,” he cleared his throat. “Maybe you could come here and visit. Or I could go up there and visit you if you want. I would like to see where you live and your live. We could even go to dinner, on me. I want to see you. I miss you. When you decide, call me. Please, I hope to hear from you.”

The message ended as I realized I was squeezing Sidney’s hand from how nervous I was. “Wow,” I breathed.

“Brooke, are you ok” Sidney’s voice grew more concerned. “Brooke?”

I managed to nod my head. “Yeah, I’m fine.” I sighed. “I just haven’t heard his voice in a while.”

“I’ve never heard you mention your family before. Are you close to your parents?”

I let out a sarcastic laugh. “Not exactly.”

“What happened with your family Brooke?”

I shook my head. “It’s complicated. I don’t want to drag you in. you have enough to deal with.”

“No,” he said sternly catching me off guard. “Brooke you made me trust you and made me realize I cant hold things in. that I have to talk about things. You do too. I’ve never seen you open up before. Let me in.”

I chewed on my lip, debating whether or not I was going to tell him. I trusted him, I did. But I worried if I told him, he’d see me differently and decide he didn’t want to be with me. I was afraid. Before that voice in my head got too loud, I decided to shut it out and just tell him.

“Alright, but it’s a really huge matter.”

“I can take it,” he assured me.

I closed my eyes clearing my throat slightly. “Uhm, when I was a kid, me and my parents were always close. We did everything together. I loved them, I really did. One day when I was 11, me and my father were going to try and surprise my mother by baking her a cake for her birthday. She was still at work. We called her and she said she was on her way. We went back and we tried to put icing on the cake, but we made a mess,” I explained.

“What happened?”

I sniffed. “Uh, right as we were finishing up, my father got a call. It was the hospital. They said that my mother had been in an accident. The second we heard we went racing over there. They told us she was in bad condition and that it was critical. They took her to surgery, but,” I choked trying to find the words. “She didn’t make it.”

“Brooke I’m-”

“No, it’s fine. After that, my father grew very serious. He didn’t want to do anything anymore. He barely spoke to me. All he did was stay in the living room and watch tv. I looked after him, I cooked for him, I took care of him. And I never resented him for treating me the way he did. I understand he was sad, so I let him be sad. Eventually he got better. He went back to his old self. He went back to work, he was smiling again, and he hung out with his friends. He was acting the same way as he had. Except with me. He never spoke to me anymore unless he needed something. He wasn’t the same. We wouldn’t laugh and make jokes the way we used to. He never showed any emotions around me at all. I still kept taking care of him.”

“Brooke, this wasn’t your fault. Don’t feel bad because of the way he treated you,” Sidney said.

“That’s the thing, he didn’t treat me any way at all. He just ignored me. It was if I hadn’t existed. He never smiled at me, hugged me,” I tried to hold back the tears. “He never even told me he loved me anymore. He showed no affection what so ever. I spent years trying to tell myself it was ok. That he had become one of those serious fathers, who rarely show their emotional side, but they still care and try to protect you. But he didn’t do anything. If I stayed out late, he didn’t do anything. He didn’t a word to me about anything.”

“Then what happened?”

“I, uh, waited. Waited until I could graduate. When I did, he didn’t show up. Peyton was going to college out here and asked if I wanted to be her roommate. I said yes and I moved out here. We went to college together. When I left, he didn’t say anything. I wasn’t expecting tears, but I was expecting something. Anything. The day I left, he spent it watching tv again. He didn’t even say goodbye. I felt bad and I wrote him. I called him but made sure the machine picked up to avoid actual conversation.”

“He never wrote or called back?”

I shook my head. “No, he didn’t. Eventually I gave up. I stopped after about six months. I gave up and forgot about him. A few months passed and he called. He didn’t leave any messages, but he kept calling for a couple weeks. I never answered and he stopped. And then three years passed without a word, until now. It was my fault we stopped talking. I could’ve kept trying but I didn’t.”

Sidney looked at me serious. He kept his hand on my back trying to soothe me. He wasn’t exactly sure what to say and had to think for a moment. “Brooke, it’s ok. You can’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault. He could have tried too. It is no one’s fault here. He called now, maybe he really wants to change your relationship. You have to meet him halfway Brooke.”

I took in a deep breath before letting it out. “I don’t know.”

“It’s ok you don’t have to know right now. Think about it. Take a few days to figure out what you want to do,” he said.

I nodded. “Thank you Sidney. For listening to me. Besides Peyton, I’ve only told you.”

“Brooke I’m glad you told me. I’m here for you and whatever you need,” he said wiping a tear from my face I hadn’t even noticed. “And I’m sorry about your mother,” he told me.

“It’s ok. It was a long time ago. I just really miss her you know,” I admitted.

He nodded. “I’m sure you do. I don’t know what I’d do without my mother.”

I rubbed my face with my hands and leaned in to hug him. “Thank you so much for being here for me. You have no idea how much it means to me.” I smiled at him giving him a small kiss on the cheek.

“Come on, we can watch some television before I have to leave. You can even pick out the movie,” he said handing me the remote.

“Wow my choice of movie. Now I know you feel bad. I wonder what else I can get you to do,” I joked.

He laughed. “Let’s just watch TV.”

I smiled turning it on leaning back against the couch as Sidney placed his arm around me and rubbed my arm softly with his fingers. It wasn’t until then that I realized how much I did trust him. And how much more I wanted to trust him. With everything.