Family Matters

I rolled around in my bed pulling the covers up to my chin from the chills I felt. I adjusted my pillow and drifted back to sleep. About five minutes later, I was woken up in a very loud and annoying manner.

“Brooke!” Peyton came in slamming the door open.

I shrieked falling off the bed and onto the floor. My face landed face first into the floor. I let out a very annoyed breath.

“You know, you really should practice the way you wake up. It’s not very graceful,” she told me.

I sat up leaning my back against the bed and stretching my legs out glaring at her. “Thanks I’ll get right on that.”

She smiled. “You’re welcome.”

I shook my head, yawning and rubbing my eye. “What time is it?”

“About 8:30,” she replied.

“What on earth are you doing here so early? We were talking on the phone really late, I barely got any sleep,” I told her.

She nodded. “I know, but I came to give you something.”

“What?”

She walked into my room and kneeled down beside me. She smiled slightly and gave me a hug. “This.” I smiled patting her on the back, knowing what she was doing this for. “I’m happy for you,” she said.

“Thank you. I’m kind of happy for me too,” I said.

“Finally! Thinking of yourself for a change. See how well the works out?”

I laughed. “Yeah, well is that really the only reason you came by here?”

“No. I heard that Sidney invited you to come to practice and since it’s a private practice, we’ll be the only ones there,” she grinned. “So I came to pick you up.”

“Doesn’t practice start at 10 or something?”

“Yes, but I wanted to make sure you got up and made yourself all pretty for him.”

I shook my head. “Peyton, I don’t think I’m going.”

“Why? Are you freaking out? It’s ok to freak you know.”

“No, because I want my sleep,” I whined.

She sighed pulling me up and turning me around to go to the bathroom. “Let’s go. Come on. I bought breakfast. And you’re going to go shower while I pick out what you’re going to wear,” she insisted.

By the time I had come out I went into my room to find every article of clothing I owned all over my bed. “Peyton, what did you do?”

“This is cute. When did you buy this? I didn’t know you could buy something like this, you always dress so nice,” she said looking at a flowy top that was a pale yellow and was very questionable.

“You gave it to me for Christmas,” I told her drying my hair and brushing it.

“Then I have excellent taste,” she decided. “Ok, since you’re you, I don’t want to dress you in something I like because I know you wont like it.”

I laughed. “Thank you.”

“Ok, how about these dark jeans with this navy top and some flats?”

I looked over the dark jeans and the somewhat fitted navy shirt and was satisfied. She handed them to me as I went to change in the bathroom. I had also put on some eyeliner and fixed a few strands of hair sticking out. I came back into the room seeing Peyton try to put the stuff back.

“See, you look beautiful. What are you going to do about your makeup?”

“I already did it,” I pointed out.

“Oh,” she said. “Well what about your hair?”

“I did that too,” I said giving her a look.

“In that case, you look perfect Brooke, really. You look just like you,” she smiled.

I raised my eyebrow at her. “Uh huh.”

“So, I know you’ve told me all the details, since I forced you to,” she said following me into the kitchen. “But I want us to have one of our rare girl talks.”

I turned around on the tips of my toes placing my hands on the counter. “About?” I asked taking a drink from the coffee.

“About you. You’ve told me what happened but not how you feel. And I know you, I know you’re probably freaking out that he doesn’t like you enough or at all or that this’ll end quickly and badly. I know you’re too nice to just forget about everyone else for a second and talk about your feelings. So I’m telling you to talk. Please,” she said.

I sighed. “You know, I hate that you know me right?”

She grinned. “I know. So come on talk.”

I took a seat by the counter and stared at my coffee. “I don’t know what’s wrong. I mean I should be happy and I am it’s just-”

“It’s just you’re not sure how you’re going to make this work and how you’ll deal or if he’s really that into you,” she interrupted.

I shrugged my right shoulder nodding at her.

She came closer looked me in the eye. “Alright, you will make this work. I know you. And I know you can. I had a momentary freak out too but if I can deal with it and make it work, you can definitely do it. And second, he is into you. He really likes you. Everyone can see. He wouldn’t have let you kiss him if he didn’t,” she smirked.

I smiled. “Maybe you’re right,” I mumbled.

She took out her muffin from the bag and took a bite. “I know I am.”

I shook my head sticking a piece of the banana muffin in my mouth.

“Brooke can I ask you a question?” she said seriously. I nodded. “Besides the way you are and the advice and listening to him, does Sidney really know anything about you? About your likes, dislikes, your childhood, everything?”

I chewed on the piece of muffin trying to come up with an answer. “He knows some of the things I like or don’t like. We’ve never really talked out our childhood or anything in the past.”

“That’s because anyone can read about his life on the internet. Have you opened up to him about anything?” I pursed my lips trying to avoid eye contact. “Brooke, I don’t want you to freak out about this, I was just wondering. I know you do things at your own pace, it’s ok. Open up when you’re ready and had your relationship for a while.”

I nodded trying my best to believe her and swallow the lump of guilt working its way up.

“Uhm, I got here early and I was watching tv before I woke you up, and the phone rang,” she began.

“Who was it?”

“I didn’t answer I let the machine pick it up.”

“Oh.” I got up from my seat and walked over to the answering machine pushing play.

“Hey Brooke,” a deep voice came on. The second I recognized the voice, my whole body stiffened up. “It’s your father-”

I immediately pressed down on the stop button. I stood there, frozen staring down at the machine. “Brooke? Brooke? Are you ok?” Peyton said coming up behind me.

I closed my eyes and cleared my throat quietly before turning around to face her. “Yes, I’m
fine. We should go before practice starts soon,” I told her.

She stood there for a second before nodding and handing me my jacket and walking towards the door. I walked out, trying to ignore the guilt I was feeling once again.
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“Brooke, Peyton!” Marc shouted coming out of the locker room. “How are you guys?”

We both nodded. “Good,” Peyton answered. “How about you?”

He shrugged. “Same. Did you see my tricks during the shootout?”

“Yeah, I didn’t know you could curse that much,” I admitted.

“Yeah, well Max thought he could out smart me but didn’t. Max is a douche,” he decided.

Peyton and I both laughed out loud. “Oh Marc, you’re too funny.”

“I try, I try,” he joked.

Max and Sidney emerged from the locker room, with their hair still wet from showering, and chatting about something. “Hey girls,” greeted Max walking over to put an arm around Peyton.

“Hey Peyton.”

She smiled. “Hey Max.”

“Ready to go?”

“Yeah, let’s go.” She turned back at me and gave me a tiny smile and rubbing my arm before walking away with Max.

“Hey,” Sidney greeted smiling down at me.

I smiled at him. “Hi.”

“Alright I’m going to go before you start making out in front of me,” Marc said leaving.

I gave Sidney a look. “I’m guessing Marc knows too?”

He smirked. “Well sort of.”

I laughed. “Ok, then.”

“Do you want to go to lunch? I’m kind of hungry after that practice.”

I nodded. “Sure.”

“What are you in the mood for? I honestly don’t know.”

I smirked at him. “Do you want to go somewhere new? You’ve seen it before, but I promise you it’s good. And they make anything you want.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Really? Let’s go.” He started walking ahead of me.
---------------------
“You know you could’ve told me that you were talking about your place,” he said.

“Yeah, but where’s the fun in that?” I pointed out.

“I guess you’re right,” he decided.

I placed a hot plate in front of him. “Lunch is served. You know out of all the things I can make, you chose chicken parmesan, really?”

He shrugged. “This is what I wanted.”

I shook my head sitting down taking a bite out of the chicken. He forked down his food and drank his water almost immediately. He really was hungry, while I on the other hand had barely touched my food.

“What’s wrong?” he asked growing serious.

“Nothing,” I said forcing a smile on my face.

“Brooke I know you enough now that I know you don’t like to bother people with your problems, but I’m not people. I’m,” he paused. “Your boyfriend,” he mumbled.

I looked up at him with a smirk. “What?”

“Well we hadn’t really made it official but I figured when you kissed me and I kissed you, that’s when this whole thing kind of started,” he explained, blushing.

I smiled. “Oh.”

“I mean I just assumed,” he quickly added. “But if you don’t-”

“I would like to be your girlfriend,” I assured him smiling.

“Oh, ok,” he said smiling a bit. “So what’s wrong? I figured something was wrong before when Peyton gave you a look like she was worried about you. Did something happen between the two of you? Did you have a fight?”

“No,” I responded staring down at my plate.

“Brooke, tell me,” he said seriously.

I sighed moving around the food with my fork. “It’s just my father called, which he never calls and I haven’t listened to the message. I don’t know if something’s wrong,” I muttered.

He placed his hand on mine. “Do you want me to listen to it with you?”

I pursed my lips, thinking before looking back up at him. “No it’s alright, I can figure it out by myself.”

“Brooke, you can trust me. You know how you told me I can’t hold everything in?” he waited for me to nod. “Well neither can you, I’m here for you.”

“Well, if you’re sure it’s not too much trouble,” I mumbled.

He smiled at me. “Never. It is never trouble with you. Come on, we can go listen to it if you want.”

I smiled thankfully getting up to grab the two plates and placing them on the counter and waiting for him to get up. He pushed his chair back and walked into the living room sitting on the couch, leaving space for me. I walked slowly, taking my seat next to him. “You don’t have to do this you know,” I told him.

“It’s ok. I want to. Brooke, it’ll be fine. I’m here for you,” he reassured. He took my hand in his and gave it a slight squeeze.

I took in a deep breath and reached out to press the button. “Hey Brooke,’ his voice rang through the room. “It’s your father. I just-” he paused. “Just wanted to see how you were doing. We haven’t spoken in a long while and I was just wondering how you were. I don’t know if you remember, but my birthday is coming up. I was thinking, maybe,” he cleared his throat. “Maybe you could come here and visit. Or I could go up there and visit you if you want. I would like to see where you live and your live. We could even go to dinner, on me. I want to see you. I miss you. When you decide, call me. Please, I hope to hear from you.”

The message ended as I realized I was squeezing Sidney’s hand from how nervous I was. “Wow,” I breathed.

“Brooke, are you ok” Sidney’s voice grew more concerned. “Brooke?”

I managed to nod my head. “Yeah, I’m fine.” I sighed. “I just haven’t heard his voice in a while.”

“I’ve never heard you mention your family before. Are you close to your parents?”

I let out a sarcastic laugh. “Not exactly.”

“What happened with your family Brooke?”

I shook my head. “It’s complicated. I don’t want to drag you in. you have enough to deal with.”

“No,” he said sternly catching me off guard. “Brooke you made me trust you and made me realize I cant hold things in. that I have to talk about things. You do too. I’ve never seen you open up before. Let me in.”

I chewed on my lip, debating whether or not I was going to tell him. I trusted him, I did. But I worried if I told him, he’d see me differently and decide he didn’t want to be with me. I was afraid. Before that voice in my head got too loud, I decided to shut it out and just tell him.

“Alright, but it’s a really huge matter.”

“I can take it,” he assured me.

I closed my eyes clearing my throat slightly. “Uhm, when I was a kid, me and my parents were always close. We did everything together. I loved them, I really did. One day when I was 11, me and my father were going to try and surprise my mother by baking her a cake for her birthday. She was still at work. We called her and she said she was on her way. We went back and we tried to put icing on the cake, but we made a mess,” I explained.

“What happened?”

I sniffed. “Uh, right as we were finishing up, my father got a call. It was the hospital. They said that my mother had been in an accident. The second we heard we went racing over there. They told us she was in bad condition and that it was critical. They took her to surgery, but,” I choked trying to find the words. “She didn’t make it.”

“Brooke I’m-”

“No, it’s fine. After that, my father grew very serious. He didn’t want to do anything anymore. He barely spoke to me. All he did was stay in the living room and watch tv. I looked after him, I cooked for him, I took care of him. And I never resented him for treating me the way he did. I understand he was sad, so I let him be sad. Eventually he got better. He went back to his old self. He went back to work, he was smiling again, and he hung out with his friends. He was acting the same way as he had. Except with me. He never spoke to me anymore unless he needed something. He wasn’t the same. We wouldn’t laugh and make jokes the way we used to. He never showed any emotions around me at all. I still kept taking care of him.”

“Brooke, this wasn’t your fault. Don’t feel bad because of the way he treated you,” Sidney said.

“That’s the thing, he didn’t treat me any way at all. He just ignored me. It was if I hadn’t existed. He never smiled at me, hugged me,” I tried to hold back the tears. “He never even told me he loved me anymore. He showed no affection what so ever. I spent years trying to tell myself it was ok. That he had become one of those serious fathers, who rarely show their emotional side, but they still care and try to protect you. But he didn’t do anything. If I stayed out late, he didn’t do anything. He didn’t a word to me about anything.”

“Then what happened?”

“I, uh, waited. Waited until I could graduate. When I did, he didn’t show up. Peyton was going to college out here and asked if I wanted to be her roommate. I said yes and I moved out here. We went to college together. When I left, he didn’t say anything. I wasn’t expecting tears, but I was expecting something. Anything. The day I left, he spent it watching tv again. He didn’t even say goodbye. I felt bad and I wrote him. I called him but made sure the machine picked up to avoid actual conversation.”

“He never wrote or called back?”

I shook my head. “No, he didn’t. Eventually I gave up. I stopped after about six months. I gave up and forgot about him. A few months passed and he called. He didn’t leave any messages, but he kept calling for a couple weeks. I never answered and he stopped. And then three years passed without a word, until now. It was my fault we stopped talking. I could’ve kept trying but I didn’t.”

Sidney looked at me serious. He kept his hand on my back trying to soothe me. He wasn’t exactly sure what to say and had to think for a moment. “Brooke, it’s ok. You can’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault. He could have tried too. It is no one’s fault here. He called now, maybe he really wants to change your relationship. You have to meet him halfway Brooke.”

I took in a deep breath before letting it out. “I don’t know.”

“It’s ok you don’t have to know right now. Think about it. Take a few days to figure out what you want to do,” he said.

I nodded. “Thank you Sidney. For listening to me. Besides Peyton, I’ve only told you.”

“Brooke I’m glad you told me. I’m here for you and whatever you need,” he said wiping a tear from my face I hadn’t even noticed. “And I’m sorry about your mother,” he told me.

“It’s ok. It was a long time ago. I just really miss her you know,” I admitted.

He nodded. “I’m sure you do. I don’t know what I’d do without my mother.”

I rubbed my face with my hands and leaned in to hug him. “Thank you so much for being here for me. You have no idea how much it means to me.” I smiled at him giving him a small kiss on the cheek.

“Come on, we can watch some television before I have to leave. You can even pick out the movie,” he said handing me the remote.

“Wow my choice of movie. Now I know you feel bad. I wonder what else I can get you to do,” I joked.

He laughed. “Let’s just watch TV.”

I smiled turning it on leaning back against the couch as Sidney placed his arm around me and rubbed my arm softly with his fingers. It wasn’t until then that I realized how much I did trust him. And how much more I wanted to trust him. With everything.